The Nacho Space Program

Let us take a walk down Memory Lane

The Early Years

The Socialist Republic of the Nachos first started space flight with the Z2 Rockets, or Zippy 2 Rockets, the second, final and best in the Zippy Rocket series. They were made to be sub-orbital/orbital rocket strikes onto unsuspecting ACP troops.

The Z2 rockets with their amazing design.

The Z2 rockets were made during 2007 during skirmishes and all out wars with ACP and the various armies at the time. These were used when the target was too low of a priority to send troops, or used to strike fear into the heart of ACP Privates.

Pictured right to left: Shadow2446, Zippy500 and an unknown engineer.

During times of peace, and because it cost over 500,000 Nacho Chips to build a single Z2 Rocket, or 3,500,000.43 in today’s currency, they were discontinued in almost 3 months. But anyway, the Nacho Government looked towards space to built stations and bases on the moon.

Rinse and Repeat

Rest in Kill

Let’s just say, the first few test were failures.  You will be missed Dip the Puffle.

But, after much trial and error, we finally got a successful flight in space, the SputWolf. We even flew it over ACP Territory to mock them, sending vulgar slurs on all of their radios. Then, after a very long time, we started to send penguins into space. Our first crew of three, which contained Scott Daniels, Bobby Duggart and Richard Bartholomew Davies, or the ‘3 D’s” as their peers called them were sent to do an orbit around the earth by the AKAbob Regime.

Last picture of the ‘3 D’s’ alive.

The crew were sent into the Salsa 11 Space Shuttle. They were sent from the White House Rocket Pad, and thrusted into space. They went into space unscathed, but the never returned home alive. Their shuttle was found in a forest in UMA Territory. We were able to forge fake visas and enter into their Lands. The Crew’s shuttle was found, parachute open, but none of them survived. They were only in space for 36 hours, but they died from lack of tequila, because a strict prohibition was in affect during AKAbob’s regime. Many smuggled booze into their homes, and pretty much no one followed the rule, but the crew were not allowed to take alcoholic drinks into the shuttle because of fire hazards.

The Moon Orbit of 2011

Because of the series of wars and unrestlessness of 2011-2012 has taken its tole, the Government at the time decided to send only one person to the moon because everyone was needed to fight in the wars, maintain the cities and hold back hunger strikes.

Bucky ‘Barnaby’ Baringer

Bucky ‘Barnaby’ Baringer was the first Nacho to orbit the Moon. He was sent in an fighter jet with some rockets strapped to it and was using a computer with windows ’98. He had to save his food, eating 3 calories a day because of the farmer rebellions in the country. He orbited the Moon three times, then went back to Earth. He landed in Fjord only to get gun downed by Riot Police. The police were Court Marshaled and sent to work in the Breeze gulags.

The Moon Landing

It was a cold day in the Nacho Empire. The Nacho States were reunified, riots had stopped. Penguins sat anxiously on their couches, eyes glued to the television. The news caster was finishing up the story about executions in the Watex Warriors. The channel was changed on every TV, was the Moon Landing was about to happen. Three brave Nacho Salsanauts were sent to land on the moon, get data, and exterminate any life on it. Neil Gusman, and Buzz Linkton were in their Lunar Lander, and Harold McChristi was waiting for them in the orbiter. The moment everyone waited for. Neil Gusman said his famous line, and walked out of the module. A camera all the way from Earth watched him.

The Nachos had done it, they were the first nation to land on the moon. Nachos on Earth all cheered in joy, enemies pouted, and CPAC said this wasn’t news worthy. The Nacho found no life on the Moon, so they returned to Earth as heroes, and they moved to their homes in the country.

Colonization

After multiple missions to the Moon, a base started to form. It was titled The Jamebond1 Moon Base. It cost over 5.7 Billion in Tax Payer Nacho Chips, but it was built.

The Jamesbond1 Moon Base

The Base was used mostly for the sake of gloating, but also for weapon testing an sending ships to bomb enemies when needed.

At first, rockets were launched from the moon, but it cost too much money, and they usually missed their target and killed civilians, not that there is anything wrong with that.

Super Death Laser

After some time, Nacho Scientist invented lasers to strike earth and destroy the enemies of the state. But after some time, other Nations got mad that the lasers were incredibly inaccurate, so the Council shut them down. The Moon Base was so expensive, the Nacho Government had to rent out plots of land. Nations only really bought the plots of land to send their junk and trash. In the end, this happened.

Cancellation

Due to the danger of the dumping and the amount of money lost on the Moon, the Nacho’s abandoned the Moon all together, leaving anyone and anything left there. The Provisional Nacho Government had their HQ there for some time,and there are reports the Space Nachos want to come back and destroy the Nachos for leaving them for dead on the Moon, but I am pretty sure it is an Old Wife’s Tale

The Fabled ‘Space Nachos’

Epilogue

And thus ends our History Lesson on the NSP. The mostly unknown organization was amazing and was very important in Nacho History. Now, lets just hope the Space Nachos don’t invade, they can’t be real…right?

Filed under: The Nacho Army | Tagged: nacho, Nacho Chips, Nacho Salsanauts, Space Nachos, The Early Years The Socialist Republic of the Nachos, Z2 Rockets |