Nacho Army of Club Penguin

Being the former spymaster and international man of journalism, sex, and mystery I am, I felt inspired to go learn something new.

I set off with forged RPF papers to the RPF cultural center of Tuxedo. The guards at the city gates, however, did not check for any papers and simply let me into the city even though I was evidently orange and wearing a sombrero. I could not understand them due to their extremely untelligentable grunting and animal-like body language.

Walking through the city streets, I could not find any civilized, intelligent people. Instead, I found many children under the age of 11 running around with guns and knifes. I thought, “What the fuck,” as guns had some tight ass regulations in the Nacho Empire and there was no way in hell this way was legal. However, after taking a quick look in my RPF guide book, I saw…