The Nacho version of the Nativity narrative from the gospels of Matthew and Luke.
On a cold winter night, In the middle of the Fjordian desert, a young carpenter named Stone523 and a virgin who he was betrothed to were traveling to Blizzardethlehem. The young virgin, Fluffy was revealed to be the mother of the Son of Kevin the God 9 months earlier. As they were traveling to Blizzardethelehem, Fluffy went into labor. Stone took the young virgin Fluffy to an inn, but the inn was full of a bunch of DCP faggots. There was no room for the son of Kevin the God. There was only room in a manger. The innkeeper led the young couple to the Manger, and the baby was born. The young virgin Fluffy named the baby “Centaur17”.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. Their names were Dj Dan, Summit27, and Agent233. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they got all scared and shit.. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of Person1233 in Blizzardethlehem a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the badass angel Akabob22, praising Kevin the god and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
When the angel Akabob22 got bored and had left them and went into heaven, the shepherds Dj Dan Summit and Agent233 said to one another, “Yooo lets go to Blizzardethlehem, if the son of Kevin the God is there this shits bout to be lit”.
So they hurried off and found Fluffy and Stone, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they all laughed for 20 minutes hysterically because the baby was ugly as fuck. They asked Fluffy what the babies name was to which she replied “Centaur17”. They all then bowed down and worshiped the baby filled with joy.
Meanwhile, three Kings from a foreign land were traveling and saw this big ass star in the sky. Now, back in those times a big ass star meant a new king/leader was born. The three Kings, Ace, Fury and Burritodaily from the lands of the Army Republic began following the star. The three kings arrived and asked the ruler of the region, Dan101:
“Where is the one who has been born king of the Nachos? We saw this big ass star when it rose and have come to worship him.”
When Dan101 heard this he was disturbed, and all of Nachonnia with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Son of Kevin the god was to be born. In Blizzardethlehem in Fjord,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:
“‘But you, Blizzardethlehem, in the land of Nacho,
are by no means least among the rulers of Nachonnia;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will shepherd my people Nachonnia!”
Dan101 replied to this: “What the fuck”, and continued with what he was doing. Dan101 told the Magi to go to Blizzardethlehem to find the child.
The three kings, Ace, Fury and Burritodaily arrived to find Shepherds, an ugly ass baby in swaddling clothes, Fluffy the mother of Kevin the god, and Stone523. They also laughed hysterically for 20 minutes because the baby was ugly as fuck. They too asked the mother Fluffy what the child’s name was. Fluffy replied “Centaur17”. They then presented the new born son of Kevin the god with salsa, nachos, and cheese. Having been warned in a dream not to go back to Dan101, they returned to their country by another route.
3 hours after the Magi departed, Dan101 got super drunk. He didn’t want the baby to be king of the Nachos, so he sent his royal guard to start a baby genocide. A bunch of little babies were killed. The end.
*NOTE* THIS IS 100% SATIRE AND IS IN COMPLETELY GOOD SPIRIT.
I HOPE SOME OF YOU ENJOYED THIS AND PLEASE EXCUSE MY SHIT GRAMMAR/SPELLING. I TRIED MY BEST TO SET IT TO A NACHO STORYLINE.
/\/\/\Kevin/\/\/\
****Nacho leader****
and god in the story
Filed under: The Nacho Army |
Nacho Army of Club Penguin 
Brilliant. R8 it 8/8.
Make a Nacho version of Star Wars – A story about the dysfunctional Salsawalker Family.
Where am i XD. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU
Awesome!!!! It was very funny!!!!well done!