Nacho Army of Club Penguin

 

HOLY FUCKIN’ SHIT MY SIDES ARE IN OUTER SPACE RIGHT NOW

Bad news for you, real life doesn’t have trigger warnings. People are gonna say shit you don’t like and not give a flying fuck about your feelings. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to have feelings but come on man. You can’t go hide from the mean words in your safe space forever.

Also, it was one of your idiot spies who told me the post was deleted. Or maybe it was that Chip moron who kept coming on the chat as a null. Who they exactly were we’ll never know, but they made it clear they came from your shithole chat.

Oh NO. My finger slipped between the A and E key and turned the comparison word “than” into the time phrase “then” on accident. Burn me at the fucking stake for my god awful, unholy, evil, and incredibly anti-Christian SIN.

Actually understanding sarcasm is pretty simple if you aren’t a simpleton.

And what sense of humor are you talking about? Considering you were throwing a piss fit over Cent making holocaust jokes and felt the need to make an entire post demonizing the entire nacho army for it, I’d say your sense of humor is pretty bad, or even nonexistant.

But part of being educated is using proper grammar.

Oh boy, he broke out the thesaurus and used a big boy word. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. “2nd grade reading level” yea sure ok I’m pretty sure I can annotate a a piece of text faster than you could even process the basics of it. Also you can’t copy and paste from a screenshot, dipshit. And you can’t act like you’re innocent considering you made posts about how awful the nachos are, which in fact were trying to make us look bad, and then get pissy when we do the same to you. If you’re gonna spew bullshit, be prepared to take it back. That’s something we here at the nachos are good at, taking shit and sending it right back. Guess you guys aren’t.

Oh, I read through that shit. It was all pure autismo. If you really think you can become intelligent from a club penguin army, you’re wrong. While it’s true you can learn how to deal with others, I don’t think that skill is being taught over there at your place since you ban swear words and god awful, unholy, evil, and incredibly anti-Christian sin-related activities instead of sucking it up and dealing with it. Censorship doesn’t delete anything. Neither does turning your chat into a safe space, because the big bad scary real world of swearing and god awful, unholy, evil, and incredibly anti-Christian sin-related activities will still exist and continue to move forward outside of it.

While we’re on the topic of edumacation, I think the fact that you guys still unironically have a parents page should say a lot about your army’s maturity. The nacho’s parent’s page (which is from like 2013) became a no man’s land that no one ever went on where you could read comments such as:

Not to mention, our Parent’s page has become a joke in itself

Now let us delve into this shithole, shall we? I could go on and on about how idiotic this entire page is, but today I’ll just be highlighting certain things relating to this post. Maybe I’ll do a post in the future about it. Who knows?

Yea, I bet if you put “I was the leader of a Club Penguin Army” on your job application you’ll totally get the job for your professional leadership skills. Pressing E+8 rapidly in a group project will totally get your group the A+. Real life skills right there. The only real life skill I’ve learned from CPA is how to type at incredible speeds. Mavis Beacon and Type 2 Learn can teach you how to type but they can’t teach you how to type so fast the keyboard melts beneath your fingertips. That is, if that is even a skill to begin with since no one really cares how fast you type unless you’re an accountant or some shit. Or if you have an essay due at 12:00 midnight and you start it at 11:50 PM like an irresponsible slacker. Anyway, moving on.

You heard it here folks, CPA is now a fucking sport.  And if bragging, boasting, and being arrogant isn’t valued then why the fuck do you keep screaming to the entire world about how great RPF is and why you shouldn’t join any other army ever because RPF is apparently the best and everyone else is bad?

Do I even need to address this one or was the first post enough?

I’m not even going to talk about the other page because it’s idiocy and hypocrisy speaks for itself.

Anyway, back on the task at hand.

Well uh, I hate to break it to you but I am one of those people who are returning and staying for the last month to enjoy the nostalgia of CPA. Elmikey was doing the same shit he is now back when I was an actual troop here. It’s like he never even left. In fact, he probably didn’t even leave. And do you know that the Doritos have a history with bots? And do you know what I was even making a reference to with Gary?

It really isn’t ok, you bumbling idiot.

And now we’re at the part of the post where you list my quotes in italics and respond. Gee, I WONDER where that formatting came from? A real genius must have thought to do that so you could easily tell what came from the original post.

It took me about an hour to type the first post. I shitpost at the speed of light (Surrender now or prepare to fight-meowth! That’s right! Wobbuffet!) This post took me longer because I didn’t have an hour to kill like I did the first time (and I actually did some of it in my car on my phone while I was waiting to pick up a sibling.) I remember when I was 15. I try not to though. But what I did 3 years ago when I was recently retired from the nachos (to start focusing more on school, mind you,) really isn’t important right now. I feel like you missed the part where Elm doesn’t have a job or go to college. Elm is at least 4 years older than I am, and here I am, already accepted into a college and planning to get a job once I graduate high school in June. I’d start looking for a job sooner but I gotta keep that A average and class rank up in the stratosphere somehow.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Why does hating something more than I do make it suddenly important?

Better Question: why are you taking bot raiders on Club Penguin seriously?

Scheduling isn’t my duty but according to the people who were doing schedules, there wasn’t 24 hour notice.

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

I don’t need to go over the redundant Aurora question because that was already answered.

Well uh, whatever makes your willy hard, I guess…

Note: that was preceded by “You’re the bad guys”

Oh my god he called me a BAD GUY. My life is flashing before my eyes I’m LITERALLY SHAKING right now because of how threatened and intimidated I am. Should have known better. I’m going to go cry in the corner now.

Wow, a world without RPF sounds like a pretty nice one. What’s that? ACP would be dead too? Even Better. That would probably reduce global autism rates by like 5%.

Wait a minute, What was that you said earlier about talking to me?

Anyway, Aka and Verum already tore the other part of your post to shreds so I’m not gonna repeat everything they already said. Though it would probably do you well to hear it a third time since you guys are notorious for being thick skulked.

Anyway, have a meme from Cent before I wrap this up.

Oh, and this too.

There’s one question that was left unanswered:

What in god’s name is this abomination to society?

Since you wouldn’t answer me, I had to conjure up some answers myself.

We’ve caught you red handed, RPF. We’ve discovered your secret: you’ve been giving your troops STEROIDS! Don’t you know that drugs are god awful, unholy, evil, and incredibly anti-Christian? That’s a SIN! As we know very well from your chat rules, sinning is very very bad and looked down upon in RPF. So stop feeding your young troopers steroids now.

^ @CPAC it’s a CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ᕙ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ

WE EVEN HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF RPF USING STEROIDS TO BUFF UP THEIR TROOPS:

Another note: I see a lot of RPF troops saying they like to eat nachos. Well, I didn’t know y’all were into that but like I said, whatever makes your willy hard, I guess.

Alright, that’s enough. I’m waiting for my next post all about me. I’ll pose for the pictures next time, love. Goodnight Ladies, Goodnight.

~Pony Eee / Till Wurner, Retired 2ic

Filed under: The Nacho Army |