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My Response to B2’s Fake News on CPA Central

SHERBET, Zing King To’s Old SM Army Press Office – In the early hours of the morning, Bluesockwa2 published a fabricated pile of crap to the CPA Central website entitling it “CPAC Special Report: Deception Within the Ranks.” When I took over CPA Central in January, I stated that I wanted to rid the site of Fake News that had been placed upon the site by those before me. With that in mind, I now take a look at B2’s new post – which is nothing more, than fake news. I intend to hold nothing back in this post and will be quoting Bluesockwa2’s post in order to respond to each outlandish claim made against me.

The events which led these rogue staffers to this course of action were set into motion a few days ago, in the hours following the Quarter Finals of the Legends Cup VII. B1 and I, strongly dissatisfied by the culture of insubordination and disrespect that Zingking has fostered on the site, and alarmed by the marked decline in the quality of content CPAC has published under his leadership, met secretly with Kingfunks4 in what we believed was a secure location: the Water Vikings chat owner pool.

Now, B1 and B2 have claimed that the post quality has gone down under my leadership, but I actually disagree with this. Firstly, I got rid of several of the boring, unneeded columns brought into CPA Central under the Jodie/Tax administration. I also brought back the favourite of Top Ten Armies of the Month, as well as ran the 30 Most Influential Leaders List. Viewership had gone up with me as CEO, and I removed bad quality authors such as DrFlen – hired in administrations other than mine. I brought in Staff Grading to work on the quality, a tactic that helped staff such as Sammie and SH, providing feedback. Also, please do not make any mistake here – “culture of insubordination” means refusal to kiss ass. I refused to kiss B1’s ass, I refused to kiss B2’s ass. They didn’t like that! On a side note, I find it interesting that Funks used the WV Chat pool, a pool he hasn’t used since he planned to multilog last year, but CPA Central’s current CEO’s views on Multilogging being acceptable, is a story for another time.

We discussed with Funks the possibility of removing Zingking from the CEO rank, as a symbolic gesture, more than anything else — frankly, we didn’t want him to remain CEO for the final few weeks of CP Armies’ existence. To his credit, Funks was hesitant at best and outright against the idea at worst — he noted, correctly, that Zingking has always been and remains a major content producer for the site, and that his activity would be sorely missed (in fact, that the site would likely not be able to make up the productivity lost at all). Taking this into consideration, B1 and I set a tentative deadline: Zing would be removed in 10 days. This was in no way intended to be final — we planned on presenting it to him as an ultimatum, not as a settled matter, in which he would remain in the rank if he made what we felt were necessary changes in the site’s final weeks.

Without a doubt, this is my favourite part of B2’s special report. I’d like you to all note B2’s wording here. “Possibility of removing”, “tentative deadline”, “no way intended to be final”, “presenting it as an ultimatum”. I’m sorry B2, but you are fake news. You say this wasn’t final, but I would now like to present my own evidence in this case, evidence that is undeniable. In the following screenshot, please take into account what B1 says.

See that? Wait hang on a second? That can’t be! B2 just said that it wasn’t final? But here’s B1, a known Hilliary support, stating that he WILL “fire him 10 days from now.” and that Funks “WILL run the site for two weeks alone.” B2 is fake news. This is clear, he lied to you. He told YOU, the public that the decision to fire me was not final, yet here is proof of B1 saying that it is final. The Bluesockwa’s have once again lied to everyone in this community, and that must throw into doubt how much you can trust your media and how much you can trust this post. They are fake news.

Not enough proof for you that they are Fake News? Well here’s some more!

To his credit, Funks can be seen in the above photograph saying the word “if”, still maintaining that my firing could be a possibility. This is shot down by Fake News1, staying “let me be clear, I am firing Zing”. I have now proven that what Fake News2 said, is without a shadow of a doubt, false. The proof is there in black and white, well Water Vikings chat, so Black, White, and Blue – with hints of yellow and grey.

Later that night, however, it would become clear that, through either a xat glitch or some other means, the WV owner pool was not as secure as we’d hoped. Our conversation was leaked, and Zingking quickly got word of the “coup” being plotted against him. Furious, he took to various means of communication, commenting derisively on the staff site and creating a Kik group chat to declare that “he knew everything.” In the midst of this rant, he commented casually “oh UMA are defacing again, someone should probably sort that.”

No No No. Nice try, but no. Firstly, who the hell goes to a run down, not been used for a while xat chat to hold a meeting? Water Vikings is fake news. Do you not know how much cum has spilt in that ownerpool by Bep, Stromae and Jodie? Now, I want everyone reading to pay attention to Fakenews2’s last sentence. He states that I say “In the midst of the rant, he commented casually “oh UMA are defacing again, someone should probably sort that.” I did say this, I admit to saying this… but wait a minute.

Later on in Fakenews2’s Special Report, He claims that I made no effort to inform him or B1 of the deface happening. Wait a minute? You just said that I did. B2… You are fake news. Either I did tell you in a Kik Group that the site was being defaced, or I didn’t – make your mind up, you can’t have it both ways B2. This is now the second time in this post that I’ve exposed you, with proof, of being a liar – and oh boy, we’re not even half way through. Buckle up, son. The ride’s going to keep being bumpy.

The events that follow are assembled as accurately as possible based on both the testimony of several trusted allies of B1 and myself, as well as the evidence that remained on the CPA Central site. Under the auspices of concern over a possible coup, Zing summoned all online staff to CPAC chat. A high-ranking CPAC staffer summarized the events of this meeting:

Zing had called everyone to the CPAC chat, all staff members. He wanted everyone on his side to defend him because he was worried about getting couped (you know the pictures). Not too long after this, he promoted Bam and gave him admin on the CPAC site. And then not too longer after this the deface started. Bam quoted himself “I’m adding Trader to the site.”

As Chief Executive Officer, I am allowed to promote who I choose to the rank of Executive Producer, this is something that all CEO’s before me have had the authority to do. I chose Bam. With the threat of a coup looming, I needed an active staff member, who shares my own vision and goals on side with me in the top of the administration and that person was Bam. He did ask if he could hire Trader to the site, and I stated that he could for a trial period as a reporter – this part was seemingly left out of the “accurate summary.” I’d also like to note, that Trader has been on the staff before too, so while Fakenews2 is making it seem like hiring Trader is the worst thing in the world, other CEOs have done it prior.

Further, this staffer testified that the deface began at around 7:05PM CST (8:05PM EST). His account of events is confirmed by two sources. The first, a post made by Zingking himself on the staff site, promoted Bam117 to Executive Producer (an admin level rank), and threatens Kingfunks4. Bam comments below: “I’ve got big plans for CPAC — […] You’ll love them.”

Now, if Bam was involved in the deface, then Yes – I admit I made the wrong decision in hiring him for Executive Producer, but that simply is not my fault. Bam has no history of defacing, and as B2 later mentions in the Special Report, Bam has been known to show loyalty in CPAC, serving under several different administrations, making him one of the more experienced members of the staff, another key reason for choosing to promote him over others. B2 then goes on to lie, stating that Bam threatens Funks. I’m now going to show you the post in which “Bam threatens Funks”.

Before I address Bam’s comments, I’m going to address my own. I clearly say “Try me Funks” with the promotion of Bam. This was in reference to him having the discussion with Blues. I was saying try and coup me, the staff are on my side. Bam then states he has got good plans for CPA Central, at no point does he even mention Kingfunks4, which makes me wonder how B2 could possibly think this is a threat to him. Also, what EP gets promoted and doesn’t have big plans? I had big plans when I got CEO, to reform the pages, which I did quite successfully I might add. This wasn’t a threat, despite B2’s claims, I’m still sat here waiting eagerly for B2 to actually present me with proof, actually no – present the community with proof, that Bam threatened anyone.

Zingking, you will notice, made this post at 7:46PM EST on 3/6. When I checked the user invite logs following the deface, I found this:

Image captured at approximately 10:40PM EST 3/6.

Astute readers will note the time when Bam117 (WP: Rosscova1) invited UMA leader and nominal perpetrator of the deface, Joseph, (WP: Umaishere200) to become an administrator on CPAC — 7:53PM EST. Bam had been promoted to admin by Zingking less than 10 minutes before, had left his comment declaring he had “big plans” for CPAC, and then invited the defacer, Joseph, to the site. Joseph then invited the other various defacers over the next few hours, as seen in the screenshot above.

Now I don’t want to look like I’m hiding from any part of the post – so I did include the above. As you can see, that’s about Bam though and I simply can not talk for Bam, and I don’t intend to – so I’ll allow him to defend against the above.

Astute readers will note the time when Bam117 (WP: Rosscova1) invited UMA leader and nominal perpetrator of the deface, Joseph, (WP: Umaishere200) to become an administrator on CPAC — 7:53PM EST. Bam had been promoted to admin by Zingking less than 10 minutes before, had left his comment declaring he had “big plans” for CPAC, and then invited the defacer, Joseph, to the site. Joseph then invited the other various defacers over the next few hours, as seen in the screenshot above. With this, the defacing efforts began in full. Another trusted associate of ours reached out to Zingking as the events were in progress, asking if he was doing anything to stop them:

Anyone who was on Ice Warriors chat will be able to confirm what I’m about to say. When Joseph first got added to the site, I removed him – and he actually made a comment on Ice Warriors chat, being upset about being removed, but saying it didn’t matter – as he had Woton’s password. So you say that I didn’t do anything, but I removed the defacers – if they somehow managed to get added back to the site, that was not my fault. I didn’t invite them to the site – I didn’t give them admin privileges, so you can blame me for that as much as you like, but I can’t do anything.

When the deface started, Joseph wasn’t actually deleting anything. He was just fucking around with the technical aspects, such as the CSS, Domain and Site Name and Tag. Upon realising that I couldn’t simply just remove him from the site, I decided to begin exporting and saving content with Bam. Obviously, I didn’t want to openly come out and admit this on chat, and then have Joseph start deleting things fast so I pretended not to give a damn, allowing me the opportunity to begin saving. As for the conversation above, I believe that’s Sh – Vice President, someone that I don’t trust at all, so why would I tell him? The very fact that Sh sent that screenshot to B2, proves me right on not being able to actually trust him – looks like I made the right decision.

For the next 3 hours, no attempt was made by Zingking, who was online throughout, to directly contact myself or B1. The defacers were given free reign of the site, removing all other admins, including B1 and myself, except for Woton, whose main admin account cannot be removed. Around 10:30PM EST, B1 finally became aware of the deface, and notified me. Finding I could not login to my admin account, I got back into the site through Woton’s main admin, and found that there were 5 administrator accounts still on the site: Woton’s, Joseph’s, Zack’s, Bam117’s, and Zingking’s. Zingking was online and an admin throughout the entire course of the defacing effort, yet he did nothing to stop it, because he saw political benefits to having the site seem like it was defaced out of support for his CEO rank. Though Zingking did not directly take part in any defacing efforts, he implicitly approved it by giving Bam117 administrator control and then doing nothing when Bam began inviting other users to the site. Over the next few hours, the defacers went through various themes on CPAC.

Please read that quote again. Yes, you did read that right. Apparently, I made no attempt to contact Fakenews1 or Fakenews2 about the deface, despite the fact that a couple of paragraphs earlier, Fakenews2 stated that I made a kik group with the CPAWM Board, and informed them that UMA was defacing. Clearly, B2 is fake news as he just said I didn’t tell anyone, but earlier said I did…? Please make your mind up Chris.

Yes, I admit I added B2 to the kik group and not B1, but Jodie, Tax, Gobby and Sammie can all confirm this – Upon rejoining CPA Central, I was told not to communicate with B1 and that all communications should be handled with B2. Therefore, I did what I was told in the first instance by the Bluesockwa Brothers – so like, now when their shitty advice goes wrong, it’s my fault? Please…

In terms of me “doing nothing”, I was backing up the site, saving vital pages and information that we had been working on, I was also asking Joseph not to post Child Porn on the site like he originally planned to do, as that would have seen the site removed from WordPress and police involvement, I also attempted to change technical aspects back such as the site tag changing it from “UMA Was here” back to “CPA Central.” As I said before, I also removed Joseph and another defacer in the first instance, only to find they had managed to get back in – so that is hardly “doing nothing” is it B2? Once again B2, you are a liar. You are fake news.

By 11:00PM EST, I had retaken control of the site through Woton’s account and contributored all other users. I reverted the CSS, out of concern for the possibility that an IP grabber could be hidden on the site, and then began restoring deleted widgets and posts, which had been left in the trash bins but not permanently deleted. While this was in progress, Zingking began concocting his wild tale of intrigue and heroism, attempting to throw attention away from himself and Bam, and instead insist that the defacers had accessed the site through Woton’s main admin account. This led me on a wild goose chase for another half hour while I secured all of Woton’s emails and passwords, out of concern that the account had been breached.

The story that Zingking would later tell, to both the public and CPAC staff, as he told it on the staff site:

11:00PM EST on a School Night in the UK, is 4am – I had to be up for college the next day at 8am. Because I was so busy backing things up and trying to stay online – I did an all nighter trying to solve things. That is loyalty. That is dedication. On the topic of loyalty and dedication, if I were involved in the defacing of the site, I wouldn’t have allowed the posts and pages to be deleted, I would have just had porn and rage posts added, with a change of graphics. I’m not going to delete the content that I’ve spent months on, as I’ve lost shit tons of post count in this too, and my posts are now badly formatted as we got them back in rough drafts – why the hell would I do that to my own work?

Now, please notice that B2 has made an accusation here. He has accused me of faking this story – however, he’s actually proof. He’s made an accusation, and then has not followed through with evidence. I am still waiting for B2 to provide some type of proof that the story I gave was knowingly false. The story I presented to both staff and armies is, what I know to be true – completely true.

In a separate group, and in private discussions with me, Zing asserted the defacers had come on and off the site in waves, entering initially through Woton’s account. Zing claimed he removed the initial wave of attackers, then admined Bam117 to start backing up the site, because “Bam was the only one with the capability to do that at the time.” Then he claimed the second wave of attackers came back onto the site, again through Woton’s account, which is how he explained the 5 admins (himself, Bam, Woton, Zack, and Joseph) that I found when I came online.

No. What I said was that I had reason to believe they had come through Woton’s account, as they were leaking what was supposedly a password, the posts were coming from Woton’s account and I did believe Joseph, and B2 – I suggest you talk to him, and you will too. Joseph was also able to post credit card information from the site, so yeah – I did have reason to believe it was Woton’s account.

There are a variety of problems with this story. First and most obvious, there is no evidence in the user logs that Woton’s account was used to add anyone to the site at any point during the night. Similarly, his associated Gmail account shows now activity on the night in question until I logged in. Further, this story fails to explain why Bam117 is seen in the user logs adding the defacers to the site before the defacing even began, when Zing claims he only gave Bam administrator rank (and thus the power to admin users) after the first wave had been repulsed.

No, I didn’t say I had gave Bam administration after the first wave. I never said that, I said I had admined Bam and he was the only one online at the time who could help with exports. In the heat of the moment, maybe my grammar was off and it came out differently, but like I mentioned, it was 5am at this point, I was absolutely nackered, and I’d just been dealing with exporting a site the size of CPA Central, I was absolutely nackered and you’ve fired me off the basis of a miss grammar statement?

And, even if we were to believe Zing’s story, he still would be guilty of making the choice to do nothing, trying to remain “on the good side” of the defacers, while supposedly backing up the site, when in reality he would have been able to far more effectively prevent the attack by simply removing their accounts. He chose, instead, to sit idly by, because the attack was one he felt was against Kingfunks, not himself. During the deface, another staff member present at the meeting summarized Zingking’s attitude toward taking any major action to stop the attackers as follows:

Zing said something which was effectively, I would stop them, but I’m masturbating right now, so I can’t.

Nice use of the word “supposedly.” I have proof that I backed up the site, they’re currently saved onto my computer. I did back it up. I did remove the accounts, the evidence of this is Trader and Joseph on Ice Warriors and CPAC Chats saying in the first instance things such as “boo hoo funs over”, and then five minutes later, Joseph talked about getting on through Woton’s account – and guess what, they were back. So yes, I had reason to believe that he had indeed got onto Woton’s account, and honestly, I still believe that to be the case. As for the second part, I’ve already defended that. Joseph wasn’t deleting at the time, I hardly wanted to draw attention to the fact I was saving shit. I can masturbate with one hand while exporting with the other.

There is some evidence on the site that Zing and Bam tried to make good on what he claimed they were doing — a number of recent posts have been restored through an import by Bam117’s user account, through many posts and all pages were permanently deleted. Still, this appears to be simply a tactic to cover the tracks of the defacers — other posts remain drafted on the site, where ST leaders are seem demanding to be removed after the deface, so as to avoid “hurting ST’s chances in the Legends Cup.”

You idiot – once again B2, you are fake news. Why don’t you take a look at those drafted posts and see who was drafting them? You’ll fucking see my name. I drafted several of the defacers posts, go and check. That’s further proof that “I wasn’t doing anything” as I was in fact trying to solve it, I invite you to go check that. To the community, I’d prove this but I’m not on CPA Central site.

Immediately, the deface became a political issue for Zingking — his story that the defacers, angered by the perceived injustice of his “coup” and looking to keep Kingfunks out of power, had chosen to attack the site, was widely repeated in various CPAC staff groups. In a further diatribe extolling his virtues on the staff site the next day, he included the following:

As you all know, I’ve been the most active Chief Executive Officer of our time, more active than Zakster, Mach, Gobby, Lorenzo, Atticus, Jodie, Tax and Funks. In some cases, I’m more active then all of them put together. I’ve kept the site active with posting quantity being sustainable, and viewership is high. The only issues with Public Image we have, is those created by Funks and his inability to run a tournament – aside from that, we’re having less “Fake News” hatred, and more and more people are turning onto our side.


Despite all this, your overlords, the Bananas in Pyjamas, want to fire me with two-weeks left of CPA Central. Now you may be asking yourself, why with two-weeks left? The simple answer is because they hate the success I’ve had as CEO. They hate the successful administration that I’ve run and they want to strip away all credit from me, awarding that credit to Funks. You guys now know how slimy, lazy and backstabbing Kingfunks4 is – trying to plot a coup of the most active, and most experienced journalist on the site.

In terms of Last Night, I did an all nighter in order to be able to back up the site alongside the newest Executive Producer, Bam. We did so successfully managing to back up everything, but I ask you – what if we hadn’t been online? What if Funks was the Solo CEO? He doesn’t use KIK, He’s never on XAT – in fact I put it to you that he more than likely wouldn’t even know about the deface yet, actually – I don’t think he does know about it yet!

This is typical of the divisive and self-serving tactics that have characterized Zingking’s time as CEO — he is willing to tear down anyone and everyone in order to push his own agenda. This time, however, he took a bridge too far, by allowing the defacing to continue unchecked, and, dare I say, implicitly approving the event for the political benefits he felt he could reap from it. Though he was not the one who carried out the defacing directly, as a CEO, he was grossly negligent in his duties to the site over the course of those few hours. Because of this gross dereliction of the core duties of their ranks in the CPAC administration, Bam117 and Zingkingto are, effective immediately, removed from their ranks in the CPAC administration. All other ranking staffers will be restored to their pre-deface positions on the site.

I’ve proven that B1 was planning to fire me, so yes I took to the Staff Site to plead my case, why the hell wouldn’t I? B2 continues to state I did nothing, but as I’ve stated throughout this post, I did plenty. I had nothing to do with the deface, and did all I could do given the circumstances. I wasn’t even admin for the entire four hours that it was happening, I lost admin rank around 8pm, I think that’s right in US time, I might be wrong.

Let’s talk about the CPAC staff for a minute. Your new CEO’s, you’ve got inactive Kingfunks4 leading with an inexperienced child, in Sammie. The Executive Producer is a glorified Yes Man, you’ve now lost the five most active staff members you had before the end, and also, you’ve rehired DrFlen – someone who was fired for numerous things including IP Grabbing. Good job CPAC, your staff ranks are looking absolutely excellent.

This post is partly CPAC’s final special report, and partly a site announcement. Zingking and Bam have both served CPAC loyally up to this point, and are at this current time unquestionably the primary content producers on this site. B1 and I have had many disagreements with Zingking, and, yes, considered firing him because of them just last weekend. But I want to be expressly clear: Zingking’s firing, in this case, is solely because of his implicit approval and participation in this defacing. As near as I can tell, he planned to use this as a political weapon, intending to try to shore up his CEO rank by pushing the narrative that the deface was solely the result of hatred of Kingfunks4. I cannot, in good conscience, allow a breach of trust so base and so blatant to go unpunished. And so it shall not.

No. You are being Fake News again, spinning your bullshit, brain washing liberal media once more. My firing was always going to happen, as I’ve proven. It was decided that I should be fired on Sunday after the Legends Cup. You can try and tell the community that this is not the case B2, but the pictures above from Funks and B1 speak for themselves. You are Fake News. You guys decided I should be fired on Sunday, you knew that the community are on my side over Funks so you guys hatched this ridiculous plan to pin this deface on me, not only trying to coup me for some bullshit – but trying to undo the work I’ve done.

Community members, I invite you to ask yourself a question. What did I do as Chief Executive Officer? I tried to give the site back to the community, I popularised the YouWrite feature giving the community a platform to have their opinions, I allowed for funnier and more relaxed posts on the site for your entertainment. I took requests on what you guys wanted to see from CPA Central. The Bluesockwa’s hated this. For evidence, look no further then the censorship that former CEOs have placed on people.

  • Refusing to give peoples opinions a platform.
  • Refusing to accept criticism.
  • Consistent Post Deleting scandals
  • Putting IP’s of people who say “Fake News” in the Blacklist.
  • Blacklisting Andrew’s IP
  • Editing comments on Awards Shows
  • Editing comments on other posts.
  • Refused to give you guys a Legends Induction

Now, let’s look what I did in trying to turn this site into more of a community based site.

  • Actually listened to the Weekly Poll.
  • Popularised ‘YouWrite’
  • Removed staff who go against the community (Eg. Devan and Flen)
  • Listened to you guys wanting a Page Reform
  • Accepted criticism and tried to change things, eg. shorter posts, but more accurate.
  • Removed all IPs from the Blacklist.
  • Pushed for a Legends Reform.

Everything I did for CPA Central as CEO was done Of the People, By the People and For the People. B2’s post is a disgrace to what I did on CPA Central, and I ask those of you with the ability to think logically, to please do so now.

Zing King To

The People’s Choice for Chief Executive Officer

12 Responses

  1. I never really liked you after you bullshitted all the Anarchists and eventually led to its death, but you honestly were the best CPAWM CEO. Most of this seems solid and I have always disliked the CPAC higher ups lack of transparency.

  2. drinking game: take a shot every time he says “fake news”

  3. While I don’t have a problem with it myself (everyone should be able to tell their side of the story), why did the Nachos/Doritos author you/Bam? I’d expect them to have some sort of vetting process for authors, but it seems they just authored you/Bam immediately.

  4. your endless use of the term “fake news” makes you like Trump. And believe me, I’m a Trump supporter, but dude, your guilty of deliberately letting defacers in then doing nothing about it. Just accept your consequences and stop acting like a crybaby.

  5. Both you and Bam posted on sites revolving around Armies that both have something to do with chips. Illuminati confirmed.

  6. this has to be the worst thing i have ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on

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