Nacho Army of Club Penguin

Greetings Nachos,

It hasn’t been too long since I last posted, but I just wanted to let everyone know my serious opinion about our state at the moment. This isn’t a shitpost.

In short, considering the people around us and how volatile the last few weeks have been, this is one of the better generations I’ve come across in the Nachos. We’ve usually got a leader on at all times, events paced out so we aren’t constantly doing something but we give everybody space for a while and then have an event. It helps the troops not have to be overwhelmed and lets us focus on something more than battling, which is the Nacho culture. Currently at (what I believe) an all-time high, you can show up on chat and see anything from a political discussion to attention-whoring to armies discussion, and strangely enough the pros and cons of being a farmer. All of it great and uncensored.

For somebody that I’ve always seen around but never got to fight against (but always wanted to fight), as another leader, Lord Pain and his legacy really weren’t that spooky or hard to beat. From what I played against of RPF 14 months ago as a 2ic, and from what we’ve done to RPF this year, there really is no fighting spirit left in them anymore. Their favorite pastime is to compare modern Nachos to 2013 Nachos, claiming we were nothing without Puckley, but now that the smoke has cleared from 2013, whats happened to RPF and Nachos? The answer, very simple: RPF clung too hard to their memories and never moved forward. If you don’t believe me, then see this.

RPF’s eternal Commander and savior of the army, Elmikey, is at the helm of his army and has been for a long time now. The only one fully committed to the RPF within his ranks, Elmikey gives everything he has to the RPF every moment of the day, as he has done since time began. Elmikey attempts time and time again to paint himself as a strong leader, throwing out leaders whom he doesn’t personally approve of and being the sole voice and direction of RPF. The problem? Weakness begets weakness. Elmikey and RPF benefited from being the first to use autotyping and that alone was what grew his army to huge sizes. Now that everyone uses auto-typers and almost everyone on CP has joined an army or ignores bots and auto-typing, we see leaders for what they really are and why RPF has the worst retention rate of any army. Nobody truly feels connected to RPF and its community of people. Elmikey hires puppets to cover for him when he isn’t around, he in himself not the strongest leader to ever exist. When Elmikey has to leave, RPF leaves with him. Leaders quickly find themselves swamped with a dead army and no way out, since Elm takes the little bit he has with him left when he goes. Thus, when Elm sees everybody yelling for him to come back to “save” the army, he gets his excuse to fire that leader for being “weak” and the cycle continues…

Those leaders along with their lower ranked friends leave the army, and thus RPF now has to generate new troops to fill the loyal soldiers’ slots so they can keep their sizes. Due to this, RPF’s universe has placed a fixation on entropy over energy. Leaders are selected only for their dedication to Elmikey and Lord Pain’s ideology, not for their ability, so that they may mimic their ideas for long enough so Elm can take a break for a week, and then not understand why the army has fallen 8 places off the Top 10 spot. Elm then overthrows that leader, claims that Nachos need Puckley to survive, and moves on to the next person. More troops leave, more weak leaders hired by a weak commander, the chants of “FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT” get quieter and quieter, and soon you start to see the results of such a method of leading.

RPF has crushed itself under its own weight. Ever striving to be number 1 at all times, RPF shuffles forward in an undeath like state, with a mouth screaming “FORWARD” but a body and brain slowly falling apart under the strain. RPF has been dead for a long time now, Nachos. Its like watching somebody in an iron lung say they are truly living and ready to fight another battle. Make no mistake: 100% of how RPF is at any moment is the fault of Elmikey. He faces all the blame, as he is the only one whom makes the decisions in RPF, as he hires all the people who will make decisions. It is our duty as an army to free the RPF from the embrace of this false life and put them down once and for all.

Filed under: The Nacho Army |